snarky yet melancholy folk-pop poetry
Rachel Marie
Lyrics
Ain't Nothin' Up (But the Ceiling)
written by Binomial Bill Schachter
​
Midnight has taken its dusty toll
And the summertime has taken on a chill
I look at the phone – nobody home
I feel like dyin’ and I guess someday I will
​
And there ain’t nothin’ up but the ceiling
No one to ask, “Where were you?”
Nothin’ at home but this feeling
No one and, no, nothin’ new
​
When she was with me, when love was mine
Yes, I believe somehow it wasn’t right
But that won’t help me to pass my time
Or from needin’ me somebody here tonight
​
’Cause there ain’t nothin’ up but the ceiling
No one to ask, “Where were you?”
Nothin’ at home but this feeling
No one and, no, nothin’ new
​
Life does get painful, life does get old
When it leave you all alone and standing’ there
Love does get empty, love does get cold
And it would be a lie to say that I don’t care
​
That there ain’t nothin’ up but the ceiling
No one to ask, “Where were you?”
Nothin’ at home but this feeling
No one and, no, nothin’ new.
​
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Beauty for Ashes
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
​
I’m making ties
Through this thread we are connected
Bound in openness that reaches through my skin
And made me realize
That lately I’ve been breaking ties
And tying chains around my heart
To keep my mind from reaching
All the fear that lies within
And now you tell me I’ll be fine
It might be tough
Is my weary soul enough?
​
I’m seeing eyes
In a mirror I have crafted
Not quite empty, but they’re dimming
Something lacking as I realize
That I can’t fix a broken man
But another must fix me
As I let go
And loosen all the chains holding me back
And now you tell me
My own tears help heal my wounds
Will my broken voice come through?
​
I’ll trade you fear for comfort
And weakness for compassion
I’ll lay my hurting body down
Trade me beauty for ashes
​
​
The Bell Tolls
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
​
I had this vision when I was a little girl
Of my daddy walkin’ me down the aisle
And givin’ me his grin
Before he’d step aside from the bride for a while
And you’d step out from the back of the room
Lookin’ sharp in your suit and your tie
And you’d pass out the cookies and chocolate milk
And you’d laugh and you’d smile and you’d
Cry a little, well
Who’s cryin’ now?
​
The last time I saw you in this church
Wasn’t supposed to be in this casket today
You’re supposed to watch when he gives me away
And you know what I mean, not from heaven
I traded a white dress for black
Didn’t make the choice and I can’t take it back
And I hope God really needed you
‘Cause Lord knows I could use you right now
Right now
​
My faith bends, doesn’t break
But it’s hard to pound back into shape
When you’re taken away and I never did say
Just how much I love you
when I thought you were stayin’
Sure, you were withering away
But who wants to admit they might lose something great?
‘Cause I know you would give me the world
So please know
I’ll always be your girl
​
​
Chances
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
Soft words, spoken in poetry
Tattered and broken, weathered and worn
A soft breeze, winds blowing faster
And shortly thereafter, these pages are torn
On this windy day, my words float away
But here you stay
Are you here to stay?
'Cause here between
Awkward glances and missing chances
I'm waiting for you – I'm waiting for you
To move me, for you to make your move
And here in this moment of weakness
I realize I have nothing left to prove
And nothing left to lose
Soft words, spoken in helplessness
Screaming inside, can you see in my eyes
That my heart's turning tables, I try to keep stable
But it's not so easy when chances roll by
And you just chase them away
Do you have to play these games?
'Cause here between
Awkward glances and missing chances
I'm waiting for you to – I'm waiting for you
To choose me, for you to make your choice
But no matter how much I scream, no matter how desperately
You cover your ears so you don't hear my voice
So you don't hear this noise
And here between
Awkward glances and missing chances
I've decided that I won't hit the ground
You won't keep me down
I won't buy this, no I won't be silenced
I'll keep singing until you hear my voice
'Til you don't have a choice
​
Drown
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
I should hate you
Why don’t I hate you?
Tears of rage have stung my eyes
you’d think I’d have some more despise for you
But life goes on
How can you go on?
I’m sure you’re not thinking of me
Wherever you and yours may be
And on the day we parted ways
“I’m sorry, so so so sorry” was all I heard you say
But you and I both know the lies
Would never have kept coming if regret was in your eyes
‘Cause there’s no remorse, and I’m still alive
Without much force, and without much drive
Most drown in love, but I’m still alive
‘Cause this pool was never deep enough to dive
It’s over
Is it over?
Could you offer me a smile?
I haven’t seen yours in a while
But I’m not aching
Is your heart aching?
Were you floating in this sea
Or were you deeper in than me?
But ‘cause I’m not just what you thought
And you were never honest, you became just what you fought
And even though I miss you so
Had I never seen your eyes again, I never would’ve known
‘Cause there’s no remorse, and I’m still alive
Without much force, and without much drive
Most drown in love, but I’m still alive
‘Cause this pool was never deep enough to dive
I’m a much better actress than I’d given myself credit for
I really thought that I was trapped, I’d gone and locked the door
But it’s so easy to fall away
This ledge seems not so high to me today
So I keep digging deeper in until I feel you in my skin
I will scream and I will cry, I will bleed and I will die
I will laugh and I will live, I’ll give all I’ve got to give
Until I finally hit the water in the ground
And solemnly, without a sound
I’ll drown my love and back away
In awe of what I’ll never ever say
That you’re not sorry, and it’s not okay
But I won’t let myself drown in you today
​
​
From Where I Still Am
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
She said, “I think I’ll go to Brooklyn” with a ticket in her hand
But the world drove her to Cleveland by way of Bethlehem
And she sobbed in hotel rooms and on buses and on couches on the way
A sense of obligation, a weighty family name
A drive to share the moments after everything had changed
But even as a chorus it feels empty to say
“I love you from where I still am”
She said, “I think I’ll go to Boston,” but the world had other plans
It drove her back to Bethlehem, bus tickets all be damned
And the love and the need and the fear and the grief gripped her heart
A fierce and tested loyalty, that same great family name
A black hole where a stellar light has always been the same
In a world where we’ve never lived without you, we say
“I love you from where I still am”
From a world where beautiful, young people die
And grown people can’t find safe places to cry
A world without a man who shook my hand and loved me into who I am
Me and thousands more
Who are proud and aching and sore
And say, “I love you from where I still am”
​
Grey
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
Dazed and dreaming, stumbling through the cold
Letting go of everything I'd been told
Was harder than it sounded
And it sounded pretty hard
Grey clouds form and down the grey snow pours
Tainted as my grey heart 'cause nothing seems as pure
As it used to
And it's harder to believe
It's hard to believe that love can live alone, uncompromised
When the love that I believe has left your eyes
And you walk away the way you always do
And it makes me wonder if I make it that much easier to
Scared am I of tearing at the seams
Snow melts silently with all my dreams
The life I want so badly
A life that's so surreal
Reading into every little word
Thinking what I wish for is absurd
Makes me think I can't achieve this
Or anything at all
I don't know why I feel so lonely when I play this part
The more I come close to you the more I pull apart
I want to melt your ice-cold stare, your ice-cold heart
But I don't know where to start
​
Guitar Song 2
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
I’ve been listening so intently
That I forgot the question, forgot my place
Or was that the question? Where I stand?
Whose say I need, whose go, whose grace
I must not have it – no one hopes for what they know they have
What they can see
No one asks the questions that have already been answered
Except for me
I’ve always had a hard time
Taking anything I don’t feel that I’ve earned
And after nineteen years of asking answered questions
I haven’t learned
You’d think that, stubborn as I am
I’d realize the truth I have
And that it isn’t yours to judge or take, or validate
Or use to trace my path (sometimes I sing past it depends on how I feel I don’t know)
And yet I keep on searching others’ eyes and hearts
And I’ve been digging deep
And I rise with sparks that were never mine, but somehow satisfy
But I can’t keep
I’ve always had a hard time
Holding much of what rises within myself
And after twenty years of sparks so worth my time
I’m still asking for help
I’ve always had a hard time
Defending myself
And after all this time, if you won’t hear a bit of it
I’m done begging for your help
(for your help, for your help)
​
Hear Me Now
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
My soft voice drowns in the laughter
And mischievous smiles of the demons she faces
But still, faithful, following after
Through every curve, the melody traces
And I pray that she hears me now
She toes the edge, a steep canyon
They all stand beside, but they don't hold her hand
And when a breeze blows in and she's no longer standing
They defend the wind rather than save their friend
And I pray that she won't stay down
Well I'm tired and sore from this tug of war
It's a mess and I rest for a while
But you know these ropes aren't tied, won't hold you
Just gotta choose which side to hold on to
My hand's out soon as you come around
Whenever you hit the ground
And I've found
You'll make it back somehow
And I pray that you hear me now
Hello, Stranger
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
Hello, stranger, can I give you what I have?
I don’t have all that much, but I don’t need it all
And I was taught by the stories of a Middle Eastern man
That I should give when I can
Especially in dangerous times
Especially when everyone is drawing lines
And building walls
And I want to believe that in this country
No one has to take the fall
And I will pledge allegiance to this flag
When there is liberty and justice for all
Hello, stranger, can I offer you my time?
I don’t have answers, but I can lend an ear
I believe that your anger is justified
And that we’re all made weaker by fear
But I understand if trust is hard
And I understand if you’re just too scarred
Because the problem looks just like me
And I want to believe that in this country
No one has to take the fall
And I will pledge allegiance to this flag
When there is liberty and justice for all
I take a long look in the mirror
I'll tell you what I see
I am not a perfect Christian
I am not a perfect feminist
I am not a perfect pacifist
And I am not a perfect friend
So while I can’t demand perfection
We can demand that the killing end
And I want to believe that in this country
No one has to take the fall
And I will pledge allegiance to this flag
When there is liberty and justice for all
I Called to Say Goodbye
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
There’s a man breathing down my neck
‘Cause I won’t tell him what he wants to hear
‘Cause I can’t pretend to know the answers to these questions
Especially after these long years
And he keeps tellin’ me he just wants to help you
‘cause you’re such a nice kid
As if I don’t, as if I didn’t, as if I never did
As if I should be ashamed
As if I’m not hurting
And I don’t know what to feel anymore
‘Cause all I’ve felt lately is tired and stressed and worn
And torn into pieces
Tears rolling, rolling for years of this
For the feeling that years of our best efforts were dissolved
All by one lousy phone call
All by one stupid, lousy thing
You promised me you wouldn’t do
You promised me
How many times have you promised me?
​
​
It Is
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
It’s like I’m choking, like I’m underwater
Like I’m breathing without taking in air
Like I can't escape this fear without crawling out of my skin
And like I love someone who somehow isn't here
Like everything is far too bright and nothing is its size
I didn't know that you had built a dam, but now it’s opened wide
And I am shrinking, and I can't weather this storm, I
I can't even try
And you won't try
And you won't answer
Is this over?
This twirling, swirling, trembling, it used to be good
When this was new and I had no reason to doubt you
But now that stain from my tears will never leave my couch
And I collapse every time someone asks about you
I’ve never ended up on the floor before
With my laugh too loud and my skirt too short
But this is just how much I hate to be
Without you
And now I doubt you
And you won't answer
Is this over?
I close my eyes and wish that I were seventeen
When everything you'd ever done was beautiful to me
When you were shy and I
Wouldn't take no for an answer
And you won't answer
Is this over?
When I close my eyes, you sing to me
Maybe if I close them hard enough, you'll hear
You'll remember that you meant it,
you’ll remember that you loved me
And that crazy boy who loved me will be here
But I open my eyes and I still can't find him
Some spark, some light, has suddenly been dimmed
And you can't see it and I, I’m spent and I
I can't even try
And you won't try
And you won't answer
Is this over?
​
Just Another Girl
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
Last time we talked about it, we decided it was best
You didn't want me to be just another girl
When we went back into our own separate worlds
And in my own frustration, I look at what we've got left
My frustration is drowned in your smile
And I forget about that decision for a while
These days I'm not afraid of being just another girl
I'm not afraid of being someone you won't see
I'm afraid that I'll relive all of the pain you put me through
And I'm afraid that you'll mean everything to me
But I'm sure I'm worth more than just another girl
Yeah, I'm sure I'm worth more than just another girl
When I think about it, it all makes sense
And I think that it's all gonna work out fine
When you hands are linked with mine
And in the moment, it all seems so intense
And I don't wanna wake up the moment it's gone
I don't wanna discover that I was wrong
These days I'm not afraid of being left out on my own
I'm not afraid of having nothing to believe
I'm afraid that we'll grow closer than we ever have before
And that I'll be bent and broken when you leave
But I'm sure I'm worth more than just another girl
Yeah, I'm sure I'm worth more than just another girl
I've been told if you're not sure that I'm worth more than just another girl
That you're not worth my time, but see, you are
'Cause if I wanted to let go, I would have done it long ago, 'cause baby
you're my hope and you're my star
I'm sure I'm worth more than just another girl
Yeah, I'm sure you know that I'm worth more than just another girl
​
​
Keep on Shining
written by Rachel Marie Schachter and Hannah Graser
Will you stay ablaze for me?
'Cause the sun won't hold
Its gaze upon this street
And it feels so cold
Once upon a time, you'd shine so bright
But your light just wouldn't stay
And suddenly, you're two feet
And a million miles away
Baby, when darkness falls around you
How can I relight your flame?
This match is damp and it won't light
But things can't stay the same
Stop this sighing, crying
And keep on shining
When you dreamed of what you'd be
You know, you were right
You're staring into the image
Of what you had in sight
You are who you are, and it's beautiful still
So don't put up a fight
And if she doesn't see you shine
She isn't worth the light
Baby, when darkness falls around you
How can I relight your flame?
This match is damp and it won't light
But things can't stay the same
Stop this sighing, crying
And keep on shining
​
​
Lead, Paper, Paint & Tea
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
Sleep is my release these days
And my guitar sits on its stand un-played
And in my dreams, I wonder if it misses me
As much as I miss my ebony and ivory keys
What a strife
To realize I have too much of a life to have a life
And I've been wondering what it's worth
Living the day-to-day this way
When in the end, all I've got is an appointment
And nothing of importance to say
I love this road, but I hate the lines
I drive so hard and so fast that I can't see the signs
It's a blur, and I swerve every once in a while, so unsure
So many opportunities, so many roads, and oh, so little time
The clock strikes two and then strikes three
As time just flies away from me
The way it seems to do every day
And it's a wonder I'm keeping on this way
Lead, paper, paint and tea
My mind swirls with science and history
But where's the music gone? I don't know
Two months and I've got none to show
I love this cage, but I hate the bars
It's nice to have somewhere to go, but I can't see the stars
I'm so small and so scared, I feel so tired and so unprepared
And this contemplative silence is broken by the sound of speeding cars
That drive to where you are, whatever, wherever you are
Let Me Bee
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
We couldn’t have known
We couldn’t have dreamed
With our bodies and words trapped in teenage time
What would be
On a quest for a love that would not give us up
To hold us when we couldn’t stay standing
We didn’t know what we were planting
I am with you at your core
You are mine and I am yours
For worse or for better
I’ll love you forever
I promise to
I promise you, I do
I promise you, I do
The biggest of hearts
The smallest of seeds
Sown in the soil of our skin and souls
Planted deep
You have always been there underneath it all
Helping me bloom when we only knew rain
We didn’t know how we would rise up
Again and again and again
I am with you at your core
You are mine and I am yours
For worse or for better
I’ll love you forever
I promise to
I promise you, I do
I promise you, I do
Most days I don’t know if I’m feeding this world
If I’m a seed or a weed or a bee
But I love you and I like you
And it’s never been in spite of you
The friend you have in me
That you wake up every day and let me be
I am with you at your core
You are mine and I am yours
For worse or for better
I’ll love you forever
I promise to
I promise you, I do
I promise you, I do
Let Me Down
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
Just look at us today
Did you ever see it working out this way?
You make it easier to smile
Now I know it isn't fair
That in the frosty cold of winter air
I chose to walk alone that mile
And I wonder if I hurt you
And I wonder if you thought I'd desert you
But if I had one answer to one question
One hint, just one suggestion
If you could turn this thing around
Would you let me down?
You missed me every time
And I missed your hints between the lines
But she said I'd marry you someday
Do you believe this superstition?
Or that all my words were lost in transmission
I never know just what to say
And I wonder if you still want this
And I wonder if just one kiss
Would give me one answer to one question
One hint, just one suggestion
If you could turn this thing around
Would you let me down?
You sing with me and that's
All I ever wanted
Memories of you and me
They, they leave me haunted
I'm sorry I didn't see you
When you could've seen something too
I love your eyes
They show me everything you disguise
And it makes it easier to hear
And all you've done for me
Is more than you could ever see
You just need to know I hold you dear
And I wonder if you're feeling tough
And I wonder if that's just not enough
But if I had one answer to one question
One hint, just one suggestion
If you could turn this thing around
Would you let me down?
Lookin’ for Paradise
written by Binomial Bill Schachter
Fences and attitudes keep us apart
Compromise tends to wear thin
He heard her knocking’ at the door of his heart
But in the end, he could not let her in
It happens too often when it happens to you
Too often, it’s happened to me
And I’ve been the villain, and I’ve been the victim
And I’ve been the blind referee
And I’d like to quit lookin’ for paradise
Or find it, one of the two
But I can’t and I won’t and I can’t understand
How the best is the best you can do
It’s a hard thing to hear when a friend puts you down
It’s a pretty bad feeling to fight
Like an outlaw with orders to get out of town
Oh my, ain’t it cold out tonight
Mostly it’s misunderstanding I guess
Mostly it’s nothin’ at all
And you never miss August or the smell of fresh hay
’Til November when the snow starts to fall
And I’d like to quit lookin’ for paradise
Or find it, one of the two
But I can’t and I won’t and I can’t understand
How the best is the best you can do
And they tell me eternity still is the same
After you’ve cut it in two
But I can’t understand, no I can’t understand
How the best is the best you can do
​
​
Looking for Light
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
A little town of Bethlehem bore me
I was borne in the bubble of my mother's loving womb
A path had been made in the wilderness for me
Through the darkness that consumed
So in my little city people loved who they loved
Their color was vibrant and everyone was someone I could trust
But I very quickly learned that love still has to fight
And that the people who uphold the rules are only sometimes right
I want to think we're better off now than we were then
But my Bethlehem is broken and so is my Jerusalem
Oh, there are people in darkness
We are in darkness
But within us all there is light
There are people in darkness
We are in darkness
But within us all there is light
Are we a nation built on liberty and justice?
Are we a nation built on rule and law?
I hear children blindly pledge themselves, declaring indivisibly
That all these things exist, in fact, for all
But will strength forever lead to strength, and crime to crime?
My God, when will you save the people?
Because after all this time
You told your leaders they were hypocrites, and you were killed for what you said
Now if you said "Please, just leave me alone" you'd still end up dead
We are a nation of unclean, whitewashed tombs
Standing strong and proud as we rot through.
Oh, there are people in darkness
We are in darkness
But within us all there is light
There are people in darkness
We are in darkness
But within us all there is light
So I follow the star to South Mountain
Where my reckless teenage nights were born
Where I was a grenadier, a dreamer, a prayer
Where I once had hope that this world could be fair
That our love could glow brighter than a star of steel
And that a nation's wounds could heal
Oh, people in darkness are looking for light
People in darkness are looking for light
We are crying, pleading, still proceeding
Guide us to perfect light
Monopoly
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
I watch your shiny car go by
From my little orange cell
And it feels like home, feels like home to me
'Cause I've missed it here, though I miss you well
Last time I was out of here
This pity of a jail
I passed by your estate and I took a chance
But I couldn't pay the bail
So now I'm back to where I started from
And I never passed "Go" 'cause I couldn't outrun
The voices in my mind telling me to find another way
So here I am today
I never learned to play this game
The way it's supposed to be
'Cause there's just too much, too much strategy
And this silly deal seems unreal to me
'Cause now you've turned out all my lights
And it's much too dark to see
The dog ran off with my "Get Out Free" card
And you still have the key
So now I'm back to where I started from
And I never passed "Go" 'cause I couldn't outrun
The monsters in my mind telling me you'd never come around
'Cause all your lies would pull you down
My old friends come to visit here
And we gossip through the bars
And they said they'd heard, heard around that you
Had gone and switched my cards
So please don't think I didn't know
Don't think I didn't see
They said you'd hurt me, said you'd hurt me
Said you'd hurt me
You have not won this monopoly
No, you don't have that kind of control of me
'Cause you can't keep jerking the cost
Of the things you've gone and lost
So now I'm back to where I started from
And I never passed "Go" 'cause I couldn't outrun
The fire in your eyes telling me to rise above your voice
It seems I had no other choice
Not Okay
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
Feet firmly planted in a false foundation, I am standing up straight for all to see
I will let you in; my walls are thin, and things look different on the inside of me
I am a home that I have built out of paper and pain
Limbs stretched to their limit, holding up walls against the rain
And most times I stay standing
I who do the standing
Because I thought I had to be a fortress, but you look at me and say
That my effort is blessed and you’ll invest in this mess
Blood and sweat and tears, and that’s okay
And I am not okay, and that’s okay
I spend all my time clinging to a life that I don’t know what it takes to maintain
This is not a place of rest, just stress, and all I know is to self-sustain
With wallpaper peeling, carpet stained, wood rotting through
I curl up in my center, but my center’s rotting, too
Burdened and weary
Dark and dreary
Because I thought I had to be my own rock; well, you look at me and say
That I can’t do this by myself, and you’ll be my somebody-else
That I will always need some help, and that’s okay
I am a fixer-upper of a human life
Not equipped with the required skill to heal it
I have prayed so hard for this light to warm instead of burn
And God, it’s such a joy to feel it
To build a home out of love, and not of paper
And I know not everybody needs a savior
But I thought I had to be a fortress; well, you look at me and say
That my effort is blessed, and you’ll invest in this mess
Blood and sweat and tears, and that’s okay
And I am not okay, no I am not okay I am not okay
And that’s okay
October
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
This was supposed to be October
But the leaves refuse to fall
I've been waiting for a change
Haven't we all?
The colors fade from this portrait of you and me
As I grow tired and strained
The leaves stay green in the trees, teasing me
Saying, "it's never going to change"
I need a fresh start and some fresh air without you
But it's still humid and warm
You're off becoming something as I sit in my backyard
Waiting for poetry to form
Then the leaves fall, and you fall away
And the wind hits my face
And though I'm tired, I am inspired by a new light
On this so familiar place
October comes with grace
This was supposed to be a new leaf
But it seems every one's the same
I don't know how to get a fresh start
When everyone here knows my name
This new song sounds wrong to the ones who know me
But I have grown
And though the sound of my voice is not the same
It's still the voice that you have known
I can feel it, a call to be new
And I can finally see
That I have come to some kind of understanding
And there is gold in the trees
Then the leaves fall, and you fall away
And the wind hits my face
And though I'm tired, I am inspired by a new light
On this so familiar place
October comes with grace
You were made for more than this home and your guitar
And these keys could never take you very far
There comes a time for every leaf to change
And the same old October comes in a new way
​
​
The Peacemakers
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
"Wouldn't it be amazing," she said
"If we could really stop the hunger
Make everyone aware, make everyone care"
So we held our signs
And our faith in human kindness high
And the people on the highway stared
Reach out; speak out
There's nothing left to cry about
When you know those smiling eyes
Are because of you
"I know I can do it," she says
"I'm gonna stop the war
And restore the peace in these poor old streets"
So we hang our signs
From the poles that hang the telephone lines
And say "peace be with you" to everyone we meet
Reach out; speak out
There's nothing left to cry about
When you know those smiling eyes
Are because of you
We have people to care for
We have damage to restore
We know that doing something good
Is only doing what we should
We have a marvelment to stand for
What more could we ask for?
Reach out; speak out
There's nothing left to cry about
When you know those smiling eyes
Are because of you
​
Rededication
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
Mmm, when Jesus comes, where will I be?
Just a little sheep, feelin' a little weak, fallen on my knees
I hear him ask, "Did you feed me? Did you come to my side?
When I was sick and tired, did you let me inside?”
And I cry, "Lord, I've tried, but sometimes I just don't know.”
So when the world needs more love, I will give it,
And when the world needs more Christ, I will live it,
And when I stumble through your way, I'll forgive it today
Mmm, when the angels come, what will I see?
Blinding faces, or saving graces, or light in endless streams?
Or see a world that's been prepared since the beginning of time
For all the least of these brothers and sisters of mine
And sheep of all colors and kinds and they're all yours
So when the world needs more love, I will give it,
And when the world needs more Christ, I will live it,
And when I stumble through your way, I'll forgive it today
I’ll be a witness to the kindness I believe in
And the justice I could never serve
Finding strength and taking comfort
In a love no one could ever deserve
So when the world needs more love, I will give it,
And when the world needs more Christ, I will live it,
And when I stumble through your way, I'll forgive it today
The River
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
Just let it go, watch the river flow
Full of life and love and all things new
They'll never know if you don't let it show
What you've done, where you've been, who are you?
The water here is so calm and clear
That when I look to the floor I can see right through
Like I see through you
Look at where you are
It's not very far
From where I'm standing now
If you can find it in your heart to change
I know it looks cool, but don't be fooled
Babe, you'll get burned right up, it's just not safe
You think it looks fun; you're not the only one
But I don't want to see you get washed away
Come back to the pool 'cause those rapids can be so cruel
And when I'm not being angry I'm so afraid
Why can't you just stay?
Look at where you are
It's not very far
From where I'm standing now
If you can find it in your heart to change
We used to be standing on the same ledge
You didn't used to be so close to the edge
You used to listen, but you don't
Hear me anymore
You seem to have made your choice
And I seem to have lost my voice
'Cause I've screamed and screamed
But there's just no cure
You could wade in the stream; this water's clean
It'll take your sin and make you new
If you stop rolling your eyes, you might be surprised
'Cause everything we told you here was true
I'm all out of breath, and this is all I've got left
And I'd hate to think that I've lost you too
After all we've been through
Look at where you are
It's not very far
From where I'm standing now
If you can find it in your heart to change
​
​
Rosie's a Friend of Mine
written by William James Hall
​
Saturday is much too long in coming
Or so they say, but anyway I'm not counting
In her back yard
She's got that engine humming to my guitar
How she loves that car
Three-fifty horses running
And, sure, I'm hanging 'round for more than the view
When she takes me down on Ocean Avenue
​
Rosie's a friend of mine
She loves her Mustang and summertime
Yellow daisies and dandelions
Lying in the Sandy Hook sunshine
She's like poetry that doesn't rhyme
Smoky kisses and valentines
Limoncello and Italian wine
Rosie's a friend of mine
I can't see
What she thinks she's doin' messing 'round with me
Quite possibly, she's got something - brewin'
But for my time, it's a mystery worth pursuin'
How she looks so fine
She steals me blind
The girl may be my ruin
So what I'm hanging 'round like fools in love do
When she takes me down on Ocean Avenue
​
Rosie's a friend of mine
She loves her Mustang and summertime
Yellow daisies and dandelions
Lying naked in the noon sunshine
She's like poetry that doesn't rhyme
Smoky kisses and valentines
Limoncello and Italian wine
Rosie's a friend of mine
​
Second Chances
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
We were covered in paper cuts
Words that dug deeper every time
Lingering fumblings towards love
Pushing too far, crossing thick lines
And we'd give and we'd give and were nothing
And we'd tell each other that that's not okay
But we'd both just keep hoping the paper cuts would change
Because givin' up givin' ourselves just don't come easy
I thought I had one truth
That I was never closed
I get my heart ripped out and I love and I trust
And I bask in the blows
Because I'd rather feel a sting than feel nothing
I'd rather come down crashing than not move at all
And somehow I decided it's always better to fall
Because givin’ up givin’ourselves just don’t come easy
I always reconcile; I always let people walk right back in
The paper cuts never heal, so we crack and we break and it starts with the skin
I have never known how to avoid and I don't want to learn
I have never given up hope, but the openness slowly started to burn
You were livin' on coffee and cigarettes
And I was livin' on wine and black tea
And we were both gettin' by on tellin' each other,
"Tomorrow I'll wake up and live for me”
But there were too many late nights
Too much of not being quite alright
And a problem we both have with always loving ghosts
You would come home every night fading
And I'd come home pretending to be free
And we'd fall asleep every night tellin' each other,
"It's different, I'm different, you'll wait and you'll see
This is the last time I'm letting him back in
This is the last time I'm letting him under my skin
Yeah, he's almost got me givin' up second chances
And third, and fourth, and fifth, and hundredth chances”
But givin' up on givin' ourselves don't come so easy
​
The Self-Worth Song
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
Green really isn't your color
Your envy isn't justified
Just wait until you've heard the lies and
Seen how this weak tint grows duller
As time goes on and passions fade
There are choices hashed and options weighed
And I guess I'm just not that beautiful
Not as tall or as small as those girls on TV
I wonder if it would be too much to ask
If you'll sit and stay with me
Oh, it's true
I love you
Dance with me, my friend
It doesn't have to mean a thing
I just need a place to swing
Between all I resent
And everything that makes me fly
If only you could take me higher
I wish your arms would stay
Here on my waist for a time
Why do you always go away?
You want what's yours, not what's mine
Oh, it's true
I miss you
Memory holds me to you
Nostalgia clings me to your own
The emptiness that I called home but
You've been so much less than true
And being last in this line hurts
When all along, you've been my first
But I guess I'm just not that beautiful
Not as tall or as small as you wished I would be
I wonder if it would be too much to ask
If you'll go, just let me be
Oh, it's true
I won't wait for you
​
​
Soar
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
I sit alone on a dusty floor
In a hazy light so calm and pure
I only wish I could be sure
That someday I will soar
'Cause my soft, smooth skin is growing rough
And my easy right is getting tough
And it seems I'm never good enough
Anymore
But if I fly too high, will the sun burn my wings?
And if I reach the sky, will my lungs still sing?
It costs a lot for everything I ever wanted
It costs a lot for everything I ever wanted
The blinding lights on this empty stage
Fill the yellow tint of this empty page
And I think that it would show my age
To lay down here and cry
But I'm scared these seats will never fill
And this stage will stay alone and still
And all I'll have is that I'm still alive
But if I cry too long, will I crash all too soon?
And if I sing this song, will it carry across this room?
It takes a lot to sing over all the noise
It takes a lot to sing over all the noise
And if I sing I will risk my heart
And if you hear these words I'll risk being torn apart
And if I fly I will risk the fall
But if I don't sing I'll risk never being heard at all
I sit alone on a dusty floor
In a hazy light so calm and pure
I only wish I could be sure
That someday I will soar
Static
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
I thought I was too strong to ever falter
I thought I was too young to burn away
She told me to stop and smell the roses
Strange advice for such a rainy day
And though I searched, the wind tore down
The only flower I could find
And as the petals close, so does my heart
So does your mind
My heart's afraid of being torn
Your mind's afraid of being wrong
But maybe if we just stopped closing
We'd know just where our hearts belong
So I scream through the storm
And I sing with all my soul
And I smile a smile so warm
It keeps me safe from all this cold
If you speak truth over the static
I'll hear you loud and clear
And if you listen
I can fight away your fears
I've never been the kind to kiss in secret
I've never been the kind to kiss and tell
I've never been the kind to kiss at all
You know this, you know me very well
I've never like that gesture
So lightly viewed
But maybe I could kiss you
And you'd like it too
It's always so complex and hard
This can't come easily
But I just want to take your hand and
Finally become free
So I scream through the storm
And I sing with all my soul
And I smile a smile so warm
It keeps me safe from all this cold
If you speak truth over the static
I'll hear you loud and clear
And if you listen
I can fight away your fears
I see rainbows in the night sky
And rainstorms sing to me
I feel beauty in the earth
And I hear angels in the seas
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But this love's real to me
This love sets me free
So I scream through the storm
And I sing with all my soul
And I smile a smile so warm
It keeps me safe from all this cold
If you speak truth over the static
I'll hear you loud and clear
And if you listen
I can fight away your fears
Strange Reunions
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
“I had hoped to see you sooner, but I never thought we’d see each other here”
“So tragic; he was way too young,” “No man should lose his only son”
“Thanksgiving just won’t be the same this year”
I wish that you were smirking in the corner hearing what they have to say
And I wish that your absence weren’t the reason they’re all here today
It’s colder in your father’s eyes than it is outside
And I know I need to breathe but I keep holding it
Thinking maybe you’ll come through the door and it’ll all be like before
That maybe it’s a dream and we’ll wake up from it
You’ll be smoking on my patio and worrying our mothers
And I’ll like to think that, quietly, we understand each other
Yeah, usually our crew is festive, but today I’m wearing black on black on black
It’s a strange, strange reunion you’ve called for, cuz
So many lives you led, so many lives you changed
How strikingly wrong that you’re the one who has been shortchanged
I’ve heard Great Uncle Al sometimes lies down on his cemetery plot
Just to see if he’ll fit
Yeah, he’s a little off his rocker, but we all are, and it’s high time we admitted it
Now this shouldn’t have been Al, but it sure as hell shouldn’t have been you
Sure as hell or somewhere darker, nobody had prepared themselves for you
It’s a strange, strange reunion you’ve called for, cuz
I think the biggest one I’ve seen, for good reason
And we didn’t bury you in Allegheny County, but we raised you up in Cleveland
You tested every limit (you learned it from your dad)
And yours was one of the freest spirits that this family had
You flew nests and you hopped fences
And you were coming to a sense of where you’d been
And who you’d be
And where you’d go
And when you fell, it was by no fault of your own
It’s a strange, strange reunion you’ve called for, cuz
Reminding us all just who and how to love
And how no matter how many times we say it, it can never be enough
TCS
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
My lungs are as dry as the winter air we breathe
And they're crumbling inside me like a crisp pile of leaves
Have you ever stopped to wonder how sick you would feel
With leaves just settling in your gut?
But I can't say a thing 'cause you're that thing that I can't have
But if you'd take a moment to stop being so attractive, maybe
This phase would pass and I
Wouldn't feel so stuck
But I don't know why
I can't just let, let this one slide
I wonder if it's strange that when your fingers play those keys
I'd like to think that you would think of serenading me but
I just want to harmonize
Until I'm out of breath
I'd serenade you now, but that'd be awkward and inappropriate
So I'll just stay a safe distance away and serenade myself
Unless you'd take the time to come and listen
But I won't hold my breath 'cause I know
It might take a good deal of time
Before you'd even consider what it would mean to be mine
​
There is Love
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
I’m at a loss, for words, for feelings
Grasping time and space
But can’t remember where
And what I’m supposed to be
Because we flew right past the twenty-ninth
And I slept through New Year’s Eve
Now where am I? And we are you?
And where is “we”?
Between these rocks and stars and seas,
Between my savior and his blood,
Where do we fall? Where does “we” fall?
Where falls love?
Is it scattered? Is it shattered?
Is it here?
I have wept so many times
For those broken and falling
Reaching, grasping, empty-handed
When they won’t believe the love I feel
But never cities, never nations
Not the state of humankind
But the burden of humanity is heavy and it’s real
Between two cities feigning peace,
Between the soldiers and their guns,
How many walls? How many fall when all is done?
When will it be done? What can be done?
One wise father preaches friendship
Like that’s gonna fix this mess
But maybe friendship’s all we have
We can’t afford anything less
We’ll leave behind what we have seen
It’s so easy for us to go
But there are those who’ll never leave
And there are those who’ll never know
Between the newscasts and the stories,
Seas below and planes above
We’ll spread the good news that, somewhere, there is love
There is love
​
Too Soon
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
​
There's a scene I painted, or maybe two or three
Your tiptoes met a canyon that would take you from me
And you knew you could fly, and I knew you could die
And your mind wouldn't let you be
I still wake up sometimes thinkin' it's a nightmare
That something so dark couldn't take such a brilliant soul
And I want you to know that you're still shining
And that I still don't feel whole
​
And I wanna cry, "Babe, what have you done?"
But I know
And weren't you the one who said, "Don't let your friends go
too soon"?
​
Well, you know, I think if love conquered all we would've done it by now
Before the sand in this glass ran out
Or before the glass was shattered on the floor
And it shouldn't be that we don't see
Or choose to see things clearly
Until the girl in the ground is yours
And it shouldn't have to matter whose daughter she was
Or whose sister she was or whose lover she was
She was human and, goddammit, that's enough
And if your prayers let you off the hook
And you won't look at where the killer lives
Then I think you need a different kind of love
​
And I'm crying, "Babe, what could I have done?"
I just don't know
And I'm torturing myself, honey
When did I let my friend go?
​
And what's thirty seconds versus thirty hours?
We're all so tiny anyway – it wasn't that long
God didn't even blink and somehow you're not ours
But you can't be lifeless, you're so damn strong
​
And I'm crying, "Babe, what can be done?"
I need to know
'Cause we've laid our roses down
But I can't let my friend go
​
​
You've Been Conditioned
written by Rachel Marie Schachter
​
“This isn’t the real him,” you say and you grin
The way you do when things are falling apart
Because the one thing you know, that you really have to show
Is that you gave that kid your whole, entire heart
And you’re remembering a time when you two didn’t cheat and lie
Though what time that was, you can’t really say
​
You've been conditioned, babe
He showed you his face and gave you words like "love" and "keep" and “stay”
So when that same face feeds you lies and distance
And all those pretty words get stained
Your mouth still waters
​
“You don’t know him like I do,” you say – and it’s true
But if it’s all the same to you, we’d rather not
Because as long as we’ve cared, as as long as we’ve been here
The back and forth, the broken motions haven’t stopped
There’s some sick, twisted reason; honestly thinking you’re even
If your hearts have strayed the same amount of times
​
You've been conditioned, babe
He showed you his face and gave you words like "love" and "keep" and “stay”
So when that same face feeds you lies and distance
And all those pretty words get stained
Your mouth still waters
​
Fireball and cigarettes won’t get the mess to leave
They just blur it all and make you think it’s easier to breathe
And you wake up knowing what you’ve always known
That you need to be fine
Alone
​
But you've been conditioned, babe
He showed you his face and gave you words like "love" and "keep" and “stay”
So when that same face feeds you lies and distance
And all those pretty words get stained
Your mouth still waters
​
​